Big Ass Animals

I've seen some oversize animals before but some of these are total nightmare fuel. A cricket that's big enough to chomp a whole carrot? A crab the size of a dustbin? Oh god. I think I just pooped a little.

Holding photographers hostage and demanding to in in the shot, these terrorists are the worst kind of people. In fact, if it was these types that were being held and tortured in Guantanamo, nobody would mind in the slightest. FACT.

Ahhh, body shots, nature's way of letting us all taste the sweet nectar of alcohol the way it was intended to be drunk. No need for glasses, just use the nearest cute chick and offer to lick up any mess from her afterwards!

Tell me, i've always wondered, If you shoot yourself with your phone is that social suicide? I only ask because if you post the results to the interwebs and are not cute enough to make the cut you suffer social death.

Who doesn't love Oktoberfest? A festive time filled with ample assets, beer and lederhosen!

A full century of attractive pictures of ladies heralding from the 4 corners of the internets. Every single one is worthy of some serious mouth dribbling. Phew!

Emma Watson. She's undeniably cute, but you can't help but feel a little weird saying it. All those years of Hogwarts have left it's mark on your conscience. I think it's finally time for an amnesty. She's 21. It's okay to fancy her.

It was a great party at the weekend (shame you don't remember it), wine, women & song flowed like it'd never end. Now there is the small problem about making it home, which sudddenly seems a looong way away, if you can still remember where it is?

Do you wake up every morning strugling with a good excuse not to go into the workplace? Sure, your work probably sucks, but count yourself very lucky. Whatever it is you do for a living, there's no way it's as bad as any of these. Tragic.

If you are ever considering going head to head with a ball then remember this valuable lesson, balls have no shame, feel no pain and secretly they enjoy re-moulding your face on impact! It's flawless victory to the balls.

It's always a lovely sight watching maidens exploring their inner-mermaid and, in most cases, totally unaware they have an enthusiastic audience desperate to explore an exotic form of marine life & possibly examine them in detail.